Gratitude

I haven't written on Linc's blog for awhile, mostly because I don't know what to say! The kids are in bed asleep and I have some free time to just think! Facebook has a wonderful site called Trisomy 18 mommies. I have gone there a lot and read stories and comforted other moms who are going through the same thing. It's amazing the support you can find in a complete stranger just because you share the common bond of a child that might not live. Mostly when I go the T18 mommies page I find myself crying, wondering why they got to be so lucky to still have their baby with them. One lady posted that her daughter was turning 24! It's amazing the number of T18 babies that are living and making their way through life. The moms on the site often share their stories of struggles and fights to keep their baby alive. Tonight when I got on to read the comments I had an overwhelming feeling of gratitude. I am so thankful that my little boy didn't have to go through some of the things that T18 babies are going through right now. Some of the T18 babies are on ventilators and feeding tubes, lots of hospital visits and emergency rides. It's a never ending world of worry for those mom's. I am grateful that Lincoln is at peace in Heaven. I would love to have him back for just a moment of time and until I do I will have to just remember how peaceful he looks in all his pictures, no pain, no sadness...just joy!

It's crazy to think that it has been 3 months since his passing away. I still feel empty at times but I know that Lincoln is watching over us.  Instead of changing diapers and washing clothes I look forward to changing out the decorations on his grave and washing his lights and toys. Lincoln has helped me to slow down and enjoy the simple things in life, he just needs to remind me every now and then! 

I love you buddy and miss you the most!