My Birthday Wish

Happy happy birthday mommy dear!  Yep, yesterday was my birthday and it was filled with so much love!  I reflected a lot on Lincoln and what I wanted my birthday wish to be....I know the saying that if you say your wish it won't come true but I am hoping that the more I say it the more chances I have that it will come true. So my birthday wish is to be able to hear Lincoln cry and to hold him tight for as long as possible!

Yesterday we had everyone over for rootbeer floats and I opened presents.  Gayleen and Daniel got me a beautiful picture frame that has a mother and a little boy on it.  It has this quote on it "the love of a mother comes nearer to being like the love of God than any other kind of love." Joseph F. Smith  I love that quote and find it very true. It's amazing how much you can love someone and how much that love can grow!  They also got me a willow tree that is of a little boy and he is holding up a balloon that says 'HOPE'  it will always remind me of Lincoln and to have Hope!  On the box it says,"hope lifts us up!" and it's so true...it really does lift us up when we are down. 

Thanks Daniel and Gayleen for the beautiful present. I felt bad when they gave it to me I just said thanks and moved on. I didn't really want to think about it and the meaning behind it at the time because I didn't want to start crying like a baby! 

Other than getting older things are going good here. I don't go to the doctors for a few more weeks which feels really weird.  My belly is getting SO BIG!!!!  I HOPE that means that Lincoln has grown a lot.  I think I am going to have Monte take a picture of me and my prego belly and put it on here so we can always remember my big belly!  I hardly have any prego pictures of the girls because I refused and now I think it will be fun to have them.  I am getting some professional belly pictures in July and am excited about that!  WEIRD!!!! 

I miss you!

Today, I was driving around running errands and when I finally stoped to breath for a minute I thought, I miss you Lincoln.  Is it crazy to feel him inside of me, kicking and moving and still miss him?  The last couple days have been pretty good, I felt like my emotions were in check and I was 'dealing' with things a little better.  Some days Lincoln doesn't move around much and I freak myself out and then there are other days were he kicks me like crazy!  I LOVE IT!!! I always tell the girls that Lincon's kicking mommy...they laugh and say no no Lincoln, you don't kick mommy!  I tell them it's okay and that mommy loves it when Lincoln kicks me.  The girls have been so much fun lately with Lincoln. Maggs loves to sit on my lap and pull my shirt up and just pat my belly or give him kisses.  She says she is burping him and that he needs it.  This morning Maggs said, Mommy Lincoln wants a gold fish and shoves one into my mouth...um yummy!  Mommy did Lincoln like that? I tell her how much Lincoln liked the gold fish and that he said thank you...So Jayda has to feed me her banana oatmeal (which is not the greatest stuff in the world) because Lincoln wanted some of that too!  It's a good thing they are watching out for Lincoln and what he needs!  They are such great big sisters and it breaks my heart to think of how they will react once Lincoln gets here. 

Not Lincoln Related

Some of you are having a hard time posting comments on here...I don't know why the blog is being difficult.  When I go to post a comment I get this:

	This content cannot be displayed in a frame
	To help protect the security of information you enter into this website, the publisher of this content does not allow it to be displayed in a frame.
	What you can try:
	Open this content in a new window If you get this message click on the link and open in a new window. It will pop up the message box and you can post from there. It is weird but it works!  Thanks everyone for all your comments and support. Little Lincoln is SO lucky to have us all!

Every day

I keep thinking that as each day goes on it will get easier and easier. Dealing with the pain, dealing with the fact that we might not get to bring Lincoln home, thinking I might not ever get to rock him in a chair and read him a story but I think each day gets harder and harder. So yesterday while I was watching tv I had this thought hit me so I turned off the tv and said Lincoln lets read a book!  I sat in the rocking chair and cradled my belly as much as I could and read him Mary had a little lamb and Are you my Mother?  I don't think he could understand the story because I was crying like crazy!  I never thought how much I take for granted the little things I get to do with my girls.  I get to tuck them into bed every night and read them the scriptures and teach them how to say a prayer. 

I was just reading a story about a family who lost their baby at 35 weeks, they donate their time and materials and make caskets to families in need. They had a video that was done from NILMDTS and at the end it had this quote..and I LOVE IT!!!!  "God, I could not hold him in my arms and tell him about you, please hold him in your arms and tell him about me"

Another Dr's Appointment

Yesterday I had another dr's appointment with Dr. Cox.  I now hate going and sitting for long periods of time in his office, it brought back a flood of memories of waiting to hear about Lincoln and then leaving his office crying.  I am sure I will have to get over this very fast because if any of you have ever gone to see Dr. Cox know that it takes FOREVER!  That is what you get when you want a great doctor!

So on to my check up.  I got to listen to Lincoln's heart beat which was at 144!  I am always excited when I get to hear that little heart beat.  The doctor measured me and I was measuring at 30 weeks!  I am currently only 24 weeks along and Lincoln is measuring at 21 weeks...so WHY SO BIG?  Right now we are blaming it on extra amniotic fluid.  It is one of those great symptoms of Trisomy 18 to have excess amniotic fluid.  So we will have to just watch and see where I am at in 4 weeks and keep an eye on things. 

On a positive note I made an appointment to do a 3D ultrasound in July and I also get to do my glucose test them..yeah for that!  I am excited for  the 3D ultrasound and to actually see Lincoln's little face (if he cooperates!).  We are trying to gather as many memories and pictures as possible so here is a question for you all.

Do you have any ideas on things we can do to create more memories of Lincoln?  Here is what we have so far:

-We want to do a hand and foot cast when he is born!
-Get professional pregnancy picture (which I have never done because I don't like my prego body!)
-3D Ultrasound
- We will have a photographer come and take pictures after Lincoln is born from NILMDTS.
-plus we have an ultrasound every 6 weeks so we can get pictures from that and also have it recorded.